Rachel held up a blouse with a bow at the neck.
Anna looked at it.
“No.”
“You haven't tried it.”
“I've looked at it.”
“The bow comes off.”
“So does the blouse. That's the arrangement I'd prefer.”
Rachel put it back. She was smiling. Anna had expected her to become offended by the first refusal and enjoyed being allowed another.
“How late are you working?”
“Ten.”
“Then you need something you can wash.”
“I have a shirt for work. I washed it last night.”
“Did it dry?”
“Enough.”
Anna took a sleeve from the rail. It was soft, green-grey, with buttons covered in the same fabric.
“That.”
“It's a dress.”
“I have eyes.”
Rachel lifted it down.
“I thought you wanted a shirt.”
“I want to see what the dress looks like.”
“All right.”
It had been fourteen years since Anna asked for something to try on without preparing to explain why she needed it. The changing room smelled of warm cloth and a little lavender bag hanging from the peg. She shut the curtain carefully. There was no lock, only fabric. She could move it herself.
The dress went over her head. It caught at her shoulders until she found the opening at the side, then settled in a way her borrowed clothes hadn't. She turned before the little mirror, lifting the hem.
“Is it all right?” Rachel called.
“I don't know.”
“Can I see?”
Anna drew the curtain aside.
Rachel looked first at the shoulder, then the waist, then Anna's face.
“You like it.”
“I asked if it was all right.”
“You didn't, actually.”
Anna smiled despite herself.
“What does it need?”
“A little taking in here. The shoulder's good.”
Rachel put a hand against the side seam, pulling the cloth gently. Anna watched the shape alter. A waist she recognized, hips she could dislike and still inhabit, her own neck above a colour she chose.
“Oh.”
Rachel nodded.
“That's what it needs.”
“How much?”
“For the dress?”
“Yes.”
Rachel told her. Anna looked at the tag, confirming she hadn't misheard.
“I'd have to become a completely different woman to afford that.”
“Or wait for the sale.”
“Would it still be the same price after the sale?”
“Sometimes.”
They laughed. Anna stepped closer to the mirror.
“You can keep looking,” Rachel said.
“I know.”
She hadn't known until it was said.
The fitting wasn't for the pub. There was no task which required her to have this dress on. She turned a little, watched the skirt respond and thought of a table where she could sit with a person who looked at her as if she had dressed for pleasure.
Rachel went to the rail.
“Wait.”
Anna listened to the hangers, little metallic sounds. She kept the curtain open.
Rachel brought a dark blue dress with a plain neck and buttons down the front.
“This one's from last year.”
“Why didn't anyone want it?”
“They wanted the other blue.”
“Very specific.”
“I know what they bought.”
The price was less. Still more than Anna intended to spend, but the difference let her take it from Rachel without flinching.
It fitted differently, closer at the bust. Rachel asked her to lift her arms and sit down. Anna sat on the stool, then stood.
“I'd like to be able to eat.”
“You can.”
“Properly.”
Rachel pressed the seam lightly.
“There is room.”
“How much room?”
“What are you planning?”
Anna laughed. She could hear herself in the little space, a sound the curtain didn't contain.
Rachel found a cotton blouse while Anna changed back. Black with a small print, loose enough to move in, reduced to eighteen pounds because a button had come off and somebody returned it before Rachel could replace it.
“Dee said black if I could.”
“It's washable.”
“Can I see it without you giving it a job?”
Rachel paused.
“Of course.”
Anna put it on. She liked it. The liking came more quietly than it had with the dress. A thing she could wear tonight and then again because it was hers.
She came out with the cuffs unbuttoned.
“I'll buy this.”
“All right.”
“Not borrow.”
“I wasn't going to ask you to.”
Rachel folded the blue dress over her arm. Anna looked at it.
“Could you keep that a little while?”
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“A little while.”
Anna nodded. She didn't know whether accepting the vague answer made her a person who owed Rachel something. She had already accepted more from her than a dress rail.
At the counter, Rachel found a paper bag. Anna stood with the blouse in her hands while the till started up.
“Was it always this quiet?”
“Saturday mornings? No. People come later now.”
“They used to come in while I was talking to Celia. Always at the point where I needed her to hear me.”
Rachel looked at the screen.
“She was good at letting them.”
“Yes.”
Anna expected regret at speaking of the woman here. Instead she felt the old irritation with such familiarity that Celia seemed alive for an instant, leaning on the counter, enjoying the chance to stop Anna mid-sentence.
“She used to say I should keep receipts for everything,” Anna said.
“That sounds like her.”
“I never did. She said that was why I kept running out.”
“She said that about half the customers.”
“She had money to lend.”
Rachel handed Anna the bag.
“Yes.”
The single word made the shop quieter.
“I didn't pay her back when I said I would.”
Rachel waited.
“And I hit her. I don't want you thinking being out means I've stopped knowing that.”
“I didn't.”
“I thought you'd find it difficult. Me in here.”
Rachel looked at the bag between them.
“I find some things difficult.”
“That's a tidy answer.”
“Yes.”
Anna put the blouse in the bag. Her fingers caught on the fold.
“Sorry.”
“For that?”
“For spoiling it. We were having a perfectly good time disliking that bow.”
“We still can.”
Anna glanced toward the rail. The bow hung out like an accusation.
“Do people actually buy it?”
“Usually for things which happen in daylight.”
“That's cruel to daylight.”
Rachel laughed. This time Anna could see that she'd made the laugh happen, not been helped toward it.
The door opened. Tess came in carrying a canvas tote and a pair of drumsticks loosely in one hand.
“Oh,” she said.
“Morning,” Rachel said.
Anna wanted to hide the blouse, which was ridiculous because it was already in a bag. She held the bag lower.
“Hello.”
“Hi.”
Tess looked between them.
“Were you laughing at a customer?”
“A blouse,” Anna said.
“Good. Customers can hear through the window. One came back in once.”
Rachel shut the till.
“We weren't laughing at her.”
“We were laughing about her,” Tess said. “Very sophisticated distinction.”
Anna smiled. Tess looked at her own hands as if she hadn't expected the sentence to be shared with her mother.
“Is that for work?” Tess asked.
“Yes. Tonight.”
“At the Anchor.”
“Yes.”
Tess put the sticks on the worktable. Anna watched her place them parallel, then move one because it would roll.
“You have a pair everywhere?”
“I lose them.”
“Both at once?”
“Usually one. It's more annoying.”
Anna picked up the rolling one when Tess nodded permission. It was smooth where Tess gripped it, roughened near the tip. There were tiny dents in the wood.
“Do they last?”
“Depends what I'm doing.”
“Is it hard?”
Tess glanced at Rachel. This time Anna didn't resent it; Tess looked amused by a question she had probably answered before.
“Playing?”
“Yes. Properly.”
“Sometimes.”
“That was your answer to being good.”
“It covers a lot.”
Rachel took a dress bag to the back. She stayed there, arranging something. Anna knew the woman was giving them a space and wanted to enjoy it without becoming grateful for it.
Tess drew the chair beneath the table closer and sat.
“Do you want to hear it?”
“Here?”
“No. Us. Rehearsal tomorrow.”
Anna held the stick still.
“I'd like to.”
“It won't be like the video. We stop a lot.”
“Good. Then I can catch up.”
“We argue as well.”
“I'm experienced.”
Tess smiled.
“Mostly about how fast Ruby wants something. Jo tells her the time doesn't change just because she gets impatient.”
“Is she the one on the piano?”
“Keyboard. Yes.”
Anna put the stick beside its partner.
“Where?”
“The rooms near the station. Old workshops, round the back. I can send the address.”
“When?”
“Four.”
“I work lunch.”
“Will you be finished?”
“I think so. I'll ask Dee.”
“If you can't, it's all right.”
“I can.”
Tess looked at her.
“I mean I'll ask,” Anna said.
“Okay.”
Rachel came back toward them.
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes,” Tess said.
“I didn't know you were rehearsing.”
“We weren't. Jo changed things.”
The answer carried no apology. Rachel put a hand on the chair back, then let go.
“Can you get there?” she asked Anna.
“I can find a station.”
“The entrance is awkward.”
“Tess said she'd send it.”
“I will,” Tess said.
Anna took the bag. She could have remained for another few minutes, given Rachel reason to speak and Tess reason to become polite. Instead she asked if she could use the toilet before leaving.
Rachel showed her the way past the stock cupboards. Anna washed her hands afterwards although she had no reason to. In the little mirror she saw the colour she'd bought yesterday on her mouth and the pleased expression she hadn't yet learned to hide.
When she came out, Tess was writing something for Rachel. She lifted a hand.
“I'll send it.”
“Thank you.”
“It's just an address.”
“I know.”
Anna left before she could ask whether she should bring anything, how long she'd be allowed to stay or what a mother wore to a room where her daughter played music.
At the guesthouse, she showed Paula the blouse.
“Nice,” Paula said.
“It was reduced.”
“It can still be nice.”
“I know.”
The dog pushed its nose against the paper bag. Anna lifted it away.
“Not for you.”
Paula looked delighted.
“He thinks everything is.”
Anna hung the blouse, put the shoes for work beneath it and looked at the hours remaining before she had to leave. A Saturday of her own, with a thing she wanted waiting in Sunday. She didn't need to get ready yet. She got ready anyway, putting the blouse on and taking it off twice because she couldn't decide how the sleeves should sit.
Her phone sounded.
Tess's message contained a map and a photograph of a door. Not the one with the big sign. The ugly one beside it.
Anna enlarged the photograph. Somebody had drawn a face near the handle. The mouth was a crooked line, smiling perhaps.
She wrote: I specialise in ugly doors.
Tess replied with a laughing face.
Anna sat on the bed, holding the phone while the spring complained beneath her. She wanted to show somebody the reply, explain the joke, have another person confirm she hadn't imagined the invitation.
Instead she saved the address. Then she rang Dee and asked what time she would finish tomorrow.