At half past seven, I knocked on Ruby's door.
I knew the time because I'd just checked whether I could get down to the beach without hurrying. I had changed twice and tied my hair up, then taken it down again. Callum's trainers looked ridiculous with my skirt. I wore them anyway.
Ruby opened the door only a little at first.
“It's me,” I said.
“I can see.”
She opened it wider. Her hair was damp from the shower. Beyond her, a clean uniform hung on the wardrobe door, and a packet of biscuits lay open on the bed.
“Have you got a minute?”
“Apparently.”
I stayed in the corridor. She stayed on her side of the doorway.
“You knew we were leaving,” I said. “Callum told you when you asked about getting your things.”
Her expression tightened. “And?”
“You made it sound like you didn't.”
“I said Mara told me you were finishing.”
“You knew about Sunday too.”
“Fine. I knew.”
It wasn't much of a victory. She folded her arms, and I felt like someone who'd knocked to complain about noise.
“Why couldn't you just say?”
“Because you were looking at me like I was going to run after your coach.”
“I wasn't.”
She raised an eyebrow.
I looked down at the trainers.
“All right. Maybe I wasn't being very friendly.”
“No.”
“But yesterday in the yard—”
“You made your point.”
My face grew hot. “That's not what I meant.”
Ruby pushed damp hair behind her ear. She had done it when we used to work together, even with dry hair, just before saying something she'd rather not say.
“What did you mean?”
“You looked frightened when he arrived. And when he came out of the kitchen.”
“Did I?”
“Yes.”
She looked past me towards the stairs.
“He's not here,” I said.
Her eyes came back to mine.
“I didn't ask.”
“I know.”
For a few seconds neither of us spoke. From downstairs, a plate clattered and someone laughed. It made the silence between us feel louder.
“If you want him back, just say that,” I said.
Ruby dropped her arms.
“Oh, for God's sake.”
“I'm trying to ask you properly.”
“That's properly?”
“He says you kept coming round after you'd split up. He says you get jealous and say things about him that aren't true.”
I had meant to stop there. Instead I added, “I don't want to spend my last week worrying about what you're going to do.”
Ruby stared at me.
Then she said, “He told me the same things about you.”
I could hear the tap running in the kitchen below us.
“What things?”
“That you're jealous. That you'll say anything to make people take your side. That I'd better keep away from you.”
“When?”
“A couple of weeks ago.”
“Then he knew you were still round here.”
“Yes.”
“He told you to keep away from me, then acted surprised you'd come back.”
Ruby looked at me without answering. I remembered the hand on my waist in the yard.
“I haven't done anything to you.”
“Well, neither had I done anything to you when he was telling you about me.”
I thought of our chips on the steps. His fingers under my hair. Please don't let her spoil this.
“He said you kept asking for things back.”
“Some of my things were there.”
“You left months ago.”
“I didn't leave every single thing with a ribbon round it and a list.” She pressed a hand against the doorframe. “I thought I'd see him again. When I left.”
“I was already with him.”
“I know that.”
Her voice had sharpened. I stepped back a little, and she lowered hers.
“I'm not asking you to give him to me, Lena.”
“Then why are you scared of him?”
She looked towards the stairs again. This time I didn't tell her he wasn't there.
“He said he'd go to Mara if I kept talking about him.”
“Go to her about what?”
“Say I steal things.”
The old office at the end of the ground-floor corridor came straight into my mind. Mara's hands flat on her desk. Ruby sitting on the other chair, barely looking at me.
“Why would she believe him?” I asked.
“You remember what happened here.”
“She never said it was you.”
“She didn't exactly trust either of us afterwards, did she?”
Ruby rubbed the side of her thumb against the doorframe. There was a little loose strip of paint. She pressed it down, then let it curl up again.
“He knows I need this room. He knows I can't just stop working because things get unpleasant.”
“Has he actually said he'll do that?”
“Yes.”
“Or did you have a row and—”
“I asked to leave his room. He stood in front of the door.”
I looked at her hand on the frame.
“When?”
“When I went round before I came back to work here.”
“Did he touch you?”
“He didn't have to. I couldn't get past him.”
I pictured his room, the chair beside the bed, the door opening into the little landing. I had walked through it in his borrowed trainers only hours before.
“What did you do?”
“Waited. Told him to move. He did eventually.”
She stopped picking at the paint and put her hand in her pocket.
“You can ask him. He'll tell you something.”
“I'm going to.”
“Of course you are.”
“What am I supposed to do? You tell me this, and I just go out with him like you haven't?”
She looked at me for a moment.
“No,” she said. “I suppose you don't.”
I took my phone from my pocket. I didn't open anything on it. I wanted to hear Callum's voice and, at the same time, couldn't think what I would say if he answered.
“I'll be back later,” I told her. “You can knock if you need something.”
“I can put the kettle on myself.”
“That's not what I meant.”
Ruby nodded once. It wasn't thanks. It wasn't refusal either.
I turned to go, then looked back.
“I don't want your job taken off you.”
Her mouth moved as though she'd almost smiled.
“You don't have to want me here.”
She closed the door gently.
I went downstairs with my phone still in my hand. Tess was behind reception, sorting the guest keys, and lifted a finger at me to wait while she finished a call.
For a moment I did wait. I could have told her everything.
Then she said, “Yes, of course, we can put an extra pillow in,” and I shook my head to show it was nothing important. I went out through the front doors.
At the corner, I opened Callum's last message.
See you at eight. Don't let a gull have my dinner.
I put my phone away and kept walking towards the sea.