By Monday morning, I had packed the case properly.
The dress lay flat between my other clothes. My trainers were in a bag, the coat was folded across the top, and the fish clip went into the small pocket where it wouldn't get crushed.
Ruth had put the box of books in the car the night before.
“Nothing under the bed?” she asked.
“I've checked.”
“Nothing in the bathroom?”
I lifted the little bag with my toothbrush in it.
“A changed woman,” she said.
I laughed and followed her out.
The room and permanent job both started today. I had been looking forward to this morning before I came home for the wedding, and I was still looking forward to it now.
We stopped at Bea's flat before leaving town.
I'd sent her a message on Sunday asking whether I could say goodbye on the way. She'd replied yes, then sent the time she'd be home. No long apology followed it. We had spent Sunday at our separate houses, quietly doing the things that needed doing.
Ruth stayed in the car while I climbed the outside stairs.
Bea opened the door before I knocked. She must have heard us arrive.
“Morning,” she said.
“Morning.”
There were no cartons on the floor this time. The little table still had cardboard under one leg, and the retired flowers on the windowsill had been replaced by a few roses from the wedding.
“You're staying here?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“On your own?”
She nodded. “Nate's at his place. He hasn't moved anything in.”
I looked toward the short hall. The spare-bedroom door stood open. I didn't go to it.
“I can pay the rent,” she said. “I've been paying it from work for a long time. That part's mine to keep.”
“Good.”
“And I've sorted what I can of the cancellation costs. There'll be more to do. But I'll do it.”
I nodded. She didn't ask me to reassure her about it.
She stood with her hands by her sides, waiting to see how long I wanted to stay.
“Thank you for fixing my coat,” I said.
“You're welcome.”
“I've brought it. It'll be cold by the sea in the evenings.”
“You always forget that.”
“Not this time.”
She smiled, and I smiled back. It was small, but it wasn't forced.
I looked at her face. She still seemed tired. I was tired too.
“I love you,” I said.
Her mouth moved before any sound came out.
“I love you too.”
I stepped forward and hugged her. Briefly. Her arms came around me, then loosened when mine did.
She didn't use the hug to keep me at the door.
“Have a good first day,” she said.
“I'll try.”
I went down the stairs. At the bottom, I turned and raised my hand. Bea stood in the doorway and raised hers.
Ruth waited until I had fastened my seat belt before asking anything.
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
She drove through town, past the turning for Mother's house. I didn't ask her to stop. The case and box were in the boot, and there was nothing I needed to collect there.
Outside Bellmere, the road widened. I opened the window a little. The air smelled of fields at first, then salt as we got closer to the coast.
Ruth asked whether I wanted to choose some music. I found a cheerful playlist and turned it down when the first song startled us both.
“Good heavens,” she said.
“It gets better.”
“It could hardly get louder.”
We stopped for a drink at a little roadside shop. Ruth bought a sandwich for later and told me not to pretend I'd eaten lunch because I'd had tea.
When we reached the guesthouse, the manager met us at the door with the key to my room.
“Welcome back,” she said. “Ready for the permanent version?”
“Yes.”
She told me to get settled, then come down for my shift that afternoon. I knew the front desk already. I knew the cupboard where the spare towels lived and the window that stuck when guests tried to open it too far.
Upstairs, the room looked exactly like the photograph. A narrow bed, a desk under the window, an old wardrobe. I put the case down and opened the window. Lavender leaned over the path below.
Ruth carried the box in and set it beside the desk.
“Where's the lamp?”
“Stored downstairs. I'll get it.”
It had been waiting here while I went home for the wedding. I brought it up, plugged it in and switched it on, even though there was plenty of daylight.
It worked.
Ruth looked around, then at me.
“I like it.”
“So do I.”
She hugged me and told me to call when I wanted, then left before she could start rearranging the desk. I walked her down to the car and watched her drive away.
Back upstairs, I unpacked the books, hung up my coat and put the fish clip in the top drawer. There was room for it among ordinary things.
I put the new room key in my pocket.
Then I went downstairs to start work.