Sam turned on the wall so he was facing her.
“Eight thousand,” he said. “Not a loan. She offered to put it into a small weekend stand. Here.”
“Why?”
“Because we could actually do that.”
“Why did she offer you money?”
He looked down at his shoes. A little sand had blown over the toes.
“She wants us to stop fighting over the half.”
Nell gripped her bag. “And Northbay?”
“We wouldn't go this season.”
“Any season?”
“We could go later. Once we've got something working.”
“You said yes.”
“I said it could work.”
“That's a yes with somewhere to hide.”
He stood up. “I haven't taken the money. There's nothing bought. I wanted to talk to you first.”
“Then why didn't you?”
He looked at her for a long moment. “I wanted there to be something good to tell you.”
Behind him, two women passed with a dog. Nell kept her voice low because she didn't want them carrying her evening home with them.
“Did she ask you to stop me asking for the half?”
“She said if we did this, we'd have to let that go.”
“We.”
“Both of us.”
“You didn't make that promise with her.”
“I know.”
“You aren't the one she owes.”
“I'm the one who'd be cooking.”
Nell stared at him. He seemed to hear the words after he'd said them. He put his hands in his pockets.
“That came out wrong.”
“Did it?”
“I've been trying to get something started for years. I thought this was the chance.”
“Northbay was the chance.”
“Northbay was a plan with money we don't have.”
There was enough truth in it to hurt. Nell had built the season in her head on the afternoon of the win. The kitchen, the counter, the walk home at night. It wasn't booked. It wasn't theirs.
But neither was this.
“I'd like to run a place with you,” he said. “I'd like to stop working for people who can cut my hours whenever they feel like it. Here isn't nothing.”
Nell stood too. “I didn't say it was.”
He reached for her bag. She shifted it behind her.
“It's what she chose,” Nell said. “Not what we chose.”
“It's money that's actually available.”
“If I do what she wants.”
“If we stop spending every night on this fight.”
Nell stepped back. He was still waiting for her to agree.
“I'm not doing it,” she said.
Sam exhaled. “Okay.”
“With her money or without it. Not the stand. Not with you.”
His expression changed. “Nell.”
She wanted to take hold of his shirt. Yesterday she'd have leaned against his chest while they argued and he would have put an arm around her. Now that easy movement was another thing she didn't trust herself to make.
“You told Ben before I knew,” she said. “Now you've told her we could give up before I knew.”
“I was going to tell you.”
“You did tell me. After.”
He took his hands out of his pockets. “I can't undo last Thursday. I'm sorry. But this isn't me going behind your back to hurt you.”
“I know you weren't trying to hurt me.”
For a moment he looked relieved. Nell couldn't bear that either.
“I don't want to be with you right now,” she said.
He stayed very still.
“Do you mean tonight?”
“No.”
The wind caught her hair and blew it across her mouth. She pulled it away with fingers that wouldn't work properly.
Sam looked toward the sea. “All right.”
He said it so quietly that she almost hadn't heard.
Nell wanted him to object. She wanted him to understand without making her explain it one more time.
He picked her phone up from the wall and handed it to her.
“You left this.”
She took it. His fingertips touched hers. Neither moved for a second.
“I'll go,” he said.
He walked away along the water instead of back the way they had come. Nell watched until he turned at the next lane. Then she sat down again, because her knees felt strange.
She stayed there a long time. People passed her on their way home. A man closed the little stall by the steps. The streetlights came on.
Iris had sent her a photograph. The food was out on the table. People had glasses in their hands. The caption said, You did a good job.
Nell called her.
Iris answered over a burst of music. “Hi.”
“Sam told me about the eight thousand.”
The music became quieter. A door closed.
“I was going to tell you.”
Nell closed her eyes. “Of course you were.”
“We could have fixed this. You'd have your business, and you wouldn't have to go away.”
“I've ended it with him.”
Iris didn't answer at once.
“You don't mean that,” she said.
“I do.”
“Nell, come here. We can talk.”
“No.”
“You shouldn't sit by yourself when you're like this.”
Nell looked down the lane where Sam had disappeared.
“I'm going to call Tess.”
“Since when do you call Tess about Sam?”
Nell ended the call.
Her sister answered with a hair dryer roaring behind her.
“Make it quick,” Tess said.
Nell opened her mouth, and the first sob came out instead.
The dryer stopped.
“Where are you?” Tess asked.