Tess arrived the next morning with coffee and a bag of mints.
“For the bus,” she said. “Somebody'll have a sandwich that offends you.”
Nell took them. “You make travel sound beautiful.”
“I've been on buses.”
Her small suitcase stood by the door. She'd checked it once before bed and again when she got up. Not because she expected to forget something important. Because there was nobody moving around the flat, reminding her that she'd left her charger on the table.
She checked the charger now. It was there.
“Ready?” Tess asked.
Nell took one last look around the room. The cushion was back over the stain. She'd washed it, but the stain hadn't gone.
“Ready.”
They went down the stairs. Nell wore the green coat open. On the pavement she tipped her face toward the sunlight. Tess put the suitcase in the car.
“I've got to stop by the salon,” she said. “Drop these keys. Two minutes.”
“I've got time.”
Near the salon, Tess pulled into a side street. Nell got out to stretch her legs while her sister ran inside.
She saw Iris coming out of the grocery shop across the road.
For a moment Nell tried to look away. It was too late. Iris had seen her.
They had exchanged a few practical messages since the payment. No long call. No visit. Iris's last message had asked whether Nell had found another coat. Nell had said yes.
Now Iris waited at the curb, holding a shopping bag against her knee.
Nell nodded. Iris crossed the street.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Iris looked at the car. “You're going somewhere?”
“Calder. Five days.”
The bag rustled as Iris shifted it. “Oh.”
“Just a trip.”
Nell regretted adding that.
“That's good,” Iris said.
She was wearing an old shirt, one Nell knew had a tiny tear under the arm. It hurt to see something so familiar on a person she didn't know how to stand beside anymore.
“How's the house?” Nell asked.
“Quiet.”
Iris looked into the bag as though she'd forgotten what was in it. A loaf, yogurt, washing powder. Rich people bought washing powder too. Nell almost smiled.
“I've gone back to work,” Iris said. “I took a bit of time. Too much time in that kitchen.”
Nell nodded.
Iris watched a car pass, then looked back at her.
“I keep starting messages to you,” she said. “Not sending them. I know you said—”
She stopped.
“Thank you,” Nell said.
Iris's eyes shone. “I'm not good at this.”
Nell couldn't help her with that. She held the packet of mints Tess had given her.
“I was good at other bits,” Iris said quietly. “That doesn't fix it. I know it doesn't. I just don't want you to think all of it was me pretending.”
Nell looked at the shopping bag. At Iris's old shirt. At the person who had once sat on a bus beside her, splitting a pair of headphones so they could listen to the same terrible song.
“I know some of it was real,” she said.
Iris wiped her face with her free hand. “I wanted you to need me. I didn't stop.”
The salon door opened. Tess came out, saw them, and went to the car without coming over.
Nell was grateful for the few extra seconds.
“I liked needing you,” she said. “When I could choose.”
Iris nodded, crying now. Nell's fingers tightened on the mints.
For a moment she wanted to touch Iris's arm. The old easy thing. She didn't know whether she was ready to do it, so she didn't.
“I have to go,” Nell said.
“I know.”
Iris stepped back, leaving the way to the car clear.
“Have a good trip.”
“Thank you.”
Nell got into the passenger seat. Tess started the engine.
“You all right?”
“Not quite.”
“Want a minute?”
Nell shook her head. “Let's go.”
At the bus station, Tess carried the suitcase to the bay and hugged Nell hard enough to press the mints into her ribs.
“Send me a picture,” she said.
“Of what?”
“Anything. Not your shoes.”
Nell laughed. They let go.
On the bus, Nell chose a window seat. She put her bag beside her feet and her phone on her knee. Sam had sent a message.
Counter's open. Only one complaint about my coffee so far. Have a good trip.
She smiled and typed back.
Thursday. Six. Don't forget.
He answered, Wouldn't dare.
She put the phone away.
The bus pulled out. Tess lifted both hands in a ridiculous wave. Nell waved back until the turn took her out of sight.
There were things she would do in Calder. Find the café. Walk the street from the station. Buy lunch because she liked the look of it. Sit in the bath without trying to make the time worthwhile.
She wasn't going to meet Jonah. She wasn't going to take the job she'd missed. She was going because she wanted to see what else was there.
Nell opened the mints. Across the aisle, an older woman was looking for something in her handbag. Nell offered the packet.
“Oh, lovely,” the woman said, taking one. “Thank you.”
Nell took one herself and looked out the window. The town thinned. The road opened ahead.