Owen knocked at five to ten.
Leah knew his knock. Two quick taps, then another, as if the door needed encouraging. She had imagined hearing it all week, although never on this door.
Anna was standing beside the dining table. Daniel sat with his hands clasped between his knees. Anna had told him that morning, while Leah was upstairs getting dressed. He had come to her room afterwards and asked if she wanted to meet Owen somewhere else.
She had said no. She wanted to see him in daylight, with other people close by. She did not entirely trust what she would do if he took her hand.
Now she opened the door herself.
Owen had his old jacket on. She knew the torn lining inside one sleeve and the packet of tissues he would have in a pocket because she kept leaving them there. His face looked tired. He had shaved, but there was a thin cut below his chin.
‘Leah.’
He moved towards her. She stepped back. The small refusal seemed to hurt him more than anything she had said on the phone.
‘Come in.’
He took a thick envelope from his inside pocket as soon as he crossed the threshold.
‘It's all here.’
She looked at it but did not take it yet.
Owen glanced towards the dining-room door. Anna was visible beyond it.
‘Don't believe anything the family tells you,’ he said quietly. ‘Please. Give me a chance to tell you.’
Leah felt herself stiffen. ‘Anna told me you took our money. You told me that too. Shall I stop believing both of you?’
‘That's not what I meant.’
‘Then say what you mean.’
He rubbed the side of his face. She had never liked that gesture. It usually meant he wanted a moment to make a bad answer more attractive.
‘Your mum lied to me. I need you to know that.’
‘I do know. I'm still asking about you.’
She led him into the dining room.
Daniel stood up. ‘Anna's told me what happened at the flat. I didn't know until this morning.’
Owen looked from him to Anna.
‘He didn't know,’ Leah said. ‘Sit down.’
Owen chose a chair and pulled out the one beside it for her. She took the chair on the other side of the table instead. Anna remained standing for a moment, then sat too.
The envelope lay in the middle of the polished wood.
‘Tell Anna what Mum said to you,’ Leah said.
Owen turned towards Anna.
‘She called after you left. She said Leah knew everything and wanted the engagement over. I was to leave her alone.’
Anna closed her eyes briefly. ‘She said you were going to bring it back. Then she said Leah wouldn't have you here.’
‘Neither of you asked me,’ Leah said.
Owen looked at the envelope. ‘No.’
Anna's eyes were open now. ‘No.’
‘That's when you sent the message saying you'd chosen to go,’ Leah said.
He leaned back. She watched him recognise that there was no easy way to say the rest.
‘I didn't want to be the man you threw out. I wanted to leave first.’
Leah could hear the hallway clock. It had been her father's. Owen had once complained that it kept him awake in the spare room. She had told him he could sleep through her neighbour drilling, and he had said the clock was doing it more deliberately.
She would have laughed if he made that joke now. The thought frightened her.
‘You wanted the last word.’
‘Yes.’
‘What was the debt for?’
Owen swallowed. ‘I borrowed for my share of the rent and bills when work was thin last winter. I didn't want you knowing I couldn't cover it. I kept telling you I was doing fine.’
‘So you paid that lie with our wedding money.’
‘I told myself I could put it back before we needed it.’
‘We needed it for the fitting.’
‘I know.’
‘And you could borrow to repay it now. You couldn't borrow then?’
‘I could have tried. I thought this was easier.’
Leah looked at him properly. The man she loved could be ashamed. He could be made a fool of by her mother. He could also open their drawer and take what belonged to them because borrowing from someone who might say no seemed difficult.
Beside her, Anna shifted her chair.
‘Don't,’ Leah said before her sister spoke. ‘I want his answer.’
‘I wasn't going to defend him.’
‘Then let him answer.’
Anna sat back. Leah knew she had sounded cruel. She could not bear anyone making the conversation easier for Owen yet.
‘When I called that Monday, did you see it?’ she asked.
‘The first calls. Yes.’
‘And after that?’
‘I silenced your number for two days.’
Anna stared at him. Daniel's expression changed too, the warmth going from it.
Leah kept looking at Owen.
‘After two days?’
‘I changed it back. You'd stopped calling.’
‘Because you told me not to wait.’
‘Yes.’
She remembered deciding that one more call would make her pathetic. He had been sitting somewhere with his phone able to ring again. There had been nothing stopping him from calling her.
‘You could have sent the truth,’ she said. ‘You knew where I lived. It was your home too.’
‘Your mum said you didn't want me calling. What was I supposed to think?’
‘You saw my calls,’ Leah said.
Owen looked at the envelope. ‘I saw them.’
He put his hand on the table, palm upwards. She knew what the gesture offered. If she put her hand in his, he would close his fingers round it and they would be two people in trouble together. She had loved being that with him.
She left her hands in her lap.
‘I'm going to count it,’ she said.
Owen pushed the envelope towards her.
Anna started to get up. Leah caught her sleeve.
‘Stay.’
Her sister sat again.
Leah emptied the notes onto the table. She made piles while Owen watched. For the first few she could not keep the numbers in her head. She began again without apologising.
£2,400. All of it.
She put it back into the envelope. It had been much more cheerful to count it on the bed at the flat, with Owen pretending to interview her about what they would do if they accidentally saved a million pounds.
Now it felt like finishing a job she had never applied to do.
‘I'll put it into my account,’ she said. ‘It isn't a new wedding fund.’
Owen nodded too quickly. ‘Whatever you want.’
‘I'm telling you what I want now. You don't know the rest.’
Daniel stood. ‘Would you like some time without us?’
Leah looked at Anna, then at Owen. She did not want another conversation yet. She wanted to stop hearing sentences and stand somewhere with air.
‘Not now.’
Owen drew his hand back. ‘Can I see you later? Outside this house.’
‘I don't know.’
‘I'll be in town. I'll find somewhere to stay tonight.’
She nodded. It would have been easy to say no simply because the others were watching. She was not certain enough for that.
At the front door he stopped beside her. Neither Anna nor Daniel had followed them.
‘I missed you,’ he said.
Leah looked at the cut below his chin.
‘Did you?’
‘Yes.’
He sounded hurt that she had asked. That made her angry again.
‘I didn't know whether you'd ever talk to me again. That's what missing you was like for me.’
Owen looked down.
‘I'll wait to hear from you,’ he said.
She let him go without touching him. When he had reached the gate, she shut the door. Her palm stayed against the wood for several seconds.
She had wanted him back so badly. There he was, in the street outside, and she had put a door between them herself.